Chapter 2

First, I would like to thank everyone who showered me with encouragement and kindness! I am so humbled to have such lovely Readers!

Second, I would like to quickly elaborate on why I'm here. This isn't just about "free therapy" (although it serves that function nicely). I'm here to discuss mental illness. Because it is mental illness that has created many detours in my "grand plan" for life. And it is mental illness that continues to be misunderstood and taboo. If you, Dear Reader, do not endure mental illness yourself, I would be willing to bet you know someone who does. Hopefully I can shed light, share insight, and maybe even help a friend or two along the way.

So, back to my story. While working at an elementary school, I was lucky to meet some amazing people who helped me find a new path. A year and a half later, I left the University of Redlands with a Masters in School Counseling and an awesome best friend. That fall, I began my career as a Counselor at Goodwill Education Center. I found my calling. I loved working with my continuation high school students. These kids, cast off and judged as "bad" and "hopeless," have been some of the most amazing people I have ever been privileged to educate. The cherry on top was my co-Counselor Lora, who continues to be my partner-in-crime and super-fun travel buddy! But those six years were full of as much turmoil as joy. Without being too specific (I'm not here to blame or call-out anyone), there were times I struggled going to work. We all know how detrimental stress can be... well I found out the hardest way possible. It built up slowly; so slowly I never noticed it. Then my world was ripped apart.

My father died April 12, 2011. Two weeks later, my grandmother followed. I had never experienced loss so close to my heart and I was ill-prepared for that shock. In swooped Depression and Anxiety. Although I have suffered Clinical Depression since the age of 12, I didn't recognize the degree to which I encountered then. I was in a whole new league. Add stress at work and I welcomed my first of two "nervous breakdowns." I'll get into that more later though...

Fast forward to now-ish. I left my beautiful home and moved back in with Mom. I couldn't fathom her living alone now that the two people she cared for full-time were gone. Then last year my district laid off 8 counselors due to budget constraints and I was lucky number 7 on the seniority list.

But I honestly can't complain. In fact, I am quite blessed and try to remember that every day. I live with my best friend and in my childhood home, surrounded by warmth, love, memories, and lots of pets! I still own my home, I just don't live IN it. I can still afford (barely) to pay my bills and entertain my simple pleasures. I have freedom and no regrets. Best of all, I have been blessed with TIME. Time to think, to plan, to dream, to grow, to learn, to discover, to heal, and to forge a new life. So yes, technically I am "lost" if looking at my life on paper. But with God in control, I really can't be too far gone. I've just "wandered" off a little...

There's my life in a nutshell. Stay tuned if hearing about a nervous breakdown peaks your interest  ;)